Love + Sex = ?

I've never been one to debate. I'm not good at it. I have my values and my beliefs and that is all. To say I am easily persuaded is incorrect but I am open to change. I can't push my beliefs on to others, because beliefs typically come from experience. Experience brought to us by our environments, internal and external. Therefore, how can I tell someone what they believe is wrong, if I have not experienced what they have experienced? So you can have your beliefs and I will have mine, however when your beliefs determine how I get to live my life and my inherent freedoms are at risk, that is wrong.

Love is love. It isn't black and white. It isn't even gray. Love should be defined by no borders. For the longest time I was set that when I fell in love I wouldn't want to be physical with any other man. I believed it was wrong, but I couldn't back it up nor do I have the right to say to any couple that having an open relationship is wrong. I do believe that love is either said too much or not enough at all. I believe that some are afraid to open themselves up to it, while others don't understand what it means to really be in love with another. People always throw around words like love is work, love is hard, love isn't always laughter and smiles...yadda yadda...yea that may all be true, but more than that love is truth. It's being true to yourself and it is being true to your partner.

If I promised my boyfriend or husband that I will always be true to him...what does that mean? It means that him and I would have no secrets, it doesn't mean that I won't sleep with another, unless we both BELIEVED it was wrong. If my boyfriend said to me, I don't want you to sleep around" and I agree and I abide by that then I am being true to him and to our relationship. If I lied then the relationship isn't set on values that a relationship should be set upon.

The saying men are men is irrelevant. Human beings are human beings. We have needs and desires. Some human beings are content with having sex with one person his whole life and others are not. I'd be a hypocrite if I told someone that having an open relationship is disgusting. If two men, two women, a man and a woman, decide they want to have an agreement of some sort that allows them to "play" with others but their love for one another remains true then so be it. I believe sex can be just sex, but I also believe that sex with the person you are in love with is by far the best sex you can have, because there are no veils, facades, secrets. Your heart is open and vulnerable and there is no fear, this is how I choose to love.

I can't say that I am 100% for it or against it. The truth is every action has a reaction and therefore I know that if I decide to have an open relationship with someone I have to be open to the possibility I could potentially lose that person. With that being said, if the love is true than I am comfortable with putting my faith in just us.

I believe some people just stay in relationships because of fear. They cheat on the side because they are not brave enough to do what they know is right nor do they want to upset his or her's entire world and for some that is good enough. I am not one of those people. I may not always be true to myself, but I try so very hard to never let anyone change my beliefs. My beliefs though ARE beginning to change, but of my own free will. I think it is because I am knowing myself better. I am becoming more secure with myself and I am less afraid of the unknown. The truth is it allows me to love truer and greater than I thought I could.

I sat at home writing this blog because of two things. My own personal experiences and because of what is happening in the US today with DOMA and Prop 8. I was having dualing thoughts, the wrong of my nation to deny me equal rights and the wrong of myself to push judgement on other couples. One clearly is a much larger issue than the other but as I was heated up about DOMA & Prop 8, I realized how much of a fraud I was being for passing judgment on my own friends or any couple for that matter on subjects that I am always conversing about, thinking I know it all. Because I nor our government know shit.